a gift to feel the bitterness of falling and being apart from the lucky flocks.

i take it as a bless.

Alhamdulillah Allah for giving me lights when its dark. and give me hope when there is none.


my horrible forgetful dumbness let me float in that small courtesy from Him.

i was ungretfully silly paying back my so called 'used' time banging my head to the soft bumpy wools and immerse myself in  dreams i could never achieve...

i waste times

i know it
i knew it

but i keep on repeating those ungraceful routines.

i am a  small pitiful and ungretful servant!

while the others were so busy empowering their weapons, i push  myself to the corner towards darkness i could never imagine.

i am being  left behind

too behind that i could not reach my hand

running wouldnt be enough for me

i need more!

half of me is dissapointed and frustrated.

why there is no one knock my head or slam my shoulder or even move a finger to warn me

wake me!

i know

i got no right to blame.


cant they just reach out their hands?


its a miracle if that does happen in my life though..

its all my fault.. i can say


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