tHe EnEmY IS YoU, mONSter!!


since i have nothing to do. so yeah, this is my second post with interval for only a few hours. weird me is typing aggressively here after years.

i am so lucky to have my ABAH and EMAK as my parents. they are perfectly matched and complete each other. hahaha. my Emak always support me. i just realized it recently. can you see how dumb am i?! she never say no to our wish. she allow us to wish and act as we like as long as we don't cross the boundaries. she always fight for us. my father also is the same. but of course there will be tons of question and being query on our wish or plan is a must thing to do for him. hahahahhahaha. i know its for our safety and good. All his advice and reminder are always right and precise. serve me right for ignoring them. dush!!

its ironic when im the one who always fail to control myself. im not a decent daughter yet for them. i know it and i regret it so much every time i realized it. maybe sometimes it just happen at the wrong ti…


Hi there!  Assalamualaikum.

I bet no one is reading mine actually. but for my own sake. i prefer to write here. well, its 2018 now. i always write here when i dont really think that i got other place to bebel. its a bit safer here, I guess!
i tried twitter, but it doesnt work much for me. it gave me headache.

ive been thinking on how to improve myself in terms of everything. yupp, everything does mean EVERYTHING! i know i am no where to be perfect. whether its duniawi or ukhrowi things.

i change then i revert then i change and i fail again and again and again.. for now, im not sure which topic i would like to share here. maybe i will just type randomly what cross my mind now.

i went to some places recently. ouh, yeah. i graduated last year on October. Alhamdulillah. my blood sweat and tears yang bergelen gelen tu paid off. Now, im having a very long holiday. the days that ive been waiting deadly so much for yearsss. as usual, when we are in the situation itself, its too overwhelming. …


a gift to feel the bitterness of falling and being apart from the lucky flocks.

i take it as a bless.

Alhamdulillah Allah for giving me lights when its dark. and give me hope when there is none.


my horrible forgetful dumbness let me float in that small courtesy from Him.

i was ungretfully silly paying back my so called 'used' time banging my head to the soft bumpy wools and immerse myself in  dreams i could never achieve...

i waste times

i know it
i knew it

but i keep on repeating those ungraceful routines.

i am a  small pitiful and ungretful servant!

while the others were so busy empowering their weapons, i push  myself to the corner towards darkness i could never imagine.

i am being  left behind

too behind that i could not reach my hand

running wouldnt be enough for me

i need more!

half of me is dissapointed and frustrated.

why there is no one knock my head or slam my shoulder or even move a finger to warn me

wake me!

i know

i got no right to blame.


cant they just reach out their hand…


if they leave,  just because they are selfish. if they come to u,  they just wanna use you. its really obvious . cant run from those people if you live in full of competitive community right? so frustrating. i know it and i hate it. why haaa? why it has to be this way? ewww


aku sibuk hantar report, org laen sibuk hantar kad kawen. torbaekk


Banyak benda yg aku belajar setiap saat aku ditimpa musibah. Dalam bnyk2 kejadian tu, satu bnd yg aku btol2 sedar hr ni. Aku sedih dgn diri aku yg skrg. Aku sedar setiap kesusahan yg timpa aku, Allah nk igtkn aku sbnanye.
Alhamdulillah. Trime kasih ya Allah.  status kwn aku yg btol2 mencerahkn lg msg yg ptt aku sedar dr dulu lg. Jaga hubungan dgn Allah Allah jg hubungan kite dgn manusia. Allah akn dtgkn kpd kita org yg btol2 kasih pd kite. Itu pertolongan ALLAH yg selalu kite xperasan.. astaghfirullahazim..

tHe ChOSeN Choice. ChaNcE tO cHanGe??

Assalamualaikum ;]

Setelah seketika aku tinggalkan habit aku yang suka menghadap laptop, aku mula rasa semula keamanan hidup aku yang dulu sebelum aku kisah dengan laman2 sosial ni. Rehat aku membuahkan hasil.  

perkara yang dulu-dulu pon perlahan-lahan sejuk. tak sangka lama jugak aku menyimpan rasa sedih dan frust. HAHA. ada orang kata, biar masa yang merawat luka. mak aihh, jiwang yekk! biar masa yang jernihkan keadaan. biase la, semue benda ade turun naik nye.. yang penting ape yang kite belajar dari semue tu.. yang dulu biarkan la lepas. bagi ruang dah, tinggal bagi peluang je belom. hmm..

sedar tak sedar, aku rasa aku macam dah sedar. banyak jugak belajar pasal diri sendiri. memang tahu diri ni banyak kekurangan dan kelemahan. dapat tahu diri ni sbenarnya cepat marah. sensitif tahap babon tak pasal2.  suka buat hal sendiri. suka cari pasal *eh, ni dah contra 0_o''.  pemalas. pemalas. pemalas. malas nak kisah pasal orang lain. suka ambik jln tengah yg akhirnya menjadikn aku,…