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bYe bYe HO, Hi Hi MO

Assalamualaikum Alhamdulillah. Ye, syukur sangat i passed my ho-ship without any extension wehh. Dulu rasa tak sabar sangat nak habis ho sebab zzzzz. Banyak sebab. Antaranya, aku tak nak dah exam2 ni. Penat. Stress. Dari kecik sampai besar, kerja pon nak kena exam. Mencii. Serius xshuqa Hahahha. Boleh dikatakan, itu antara ape yang aku letak kat belakang fikiran setiap hari aku kerja ho dulu. Aku fikir, xpe. Sikit je lagi nih. Kejap je lagi. Lepas ni tinggal kerja je, xyah dah exam2 bagai. U can do it. U must do it. Hahahha. Gitcheww.  Bukan apa, sebab biasa la aku pon manusia jugak, kadang ade rasa suka dengan kerja aku, kadang rasa benci nye jadi doktor. Semua kena buat, semua kena tahu, semua kena tinggal, sampai rasa macam ko xde life, and orang sekitar pon *some of them* yang expect or treat kau macam ko xde life. Life ko hanya untuk kerja. Plus, ko single kan. Kerja la. Berapi hati ni oi. Ko cuti nak buat ape? Bukan ada anak laki nak jaga. Hello?? Salah ke aku single?  Aku single
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A YeAr PaSSed Ad

Assalamualaikum everyone, its been so longggg. Omg! Nearly forgot how to write. Hahhahahha So im a kerdil  ho now. For a year. Ye setahun sudah aku kerja. Its hard to believe. Aku mana pernah kerja sebelum ni. Asal cuti je goyang kaki. Hahaa So, aku akhirnya pilih Kuala Pilah guys. I dont know. I dont know if this related to last impression that particular dr i met before ke hape yg aku pun x igt muka die dh. Tp yaa.. Im a ho in htan now. Aku selalu try clarify. Y did i do this y i did that sebab aku selalu confuse. What am i doing now actually??? Kadang tu aku macam.. Entah. Just go with the flow sampai lupa. Xigt. Or sebenanya yg lebih tepat xtahu ape tujuan n matlamat aku sekarang ni. Come on la. U cant be like that girl if u want a better outcome. So u wont waste ur effort. Ur time. Ur youth. Shit. My youth is gone. I passed 25 already. So sekarang ni aku nak bebel ape sebenarnya aku sendiri pun xtahu. #irantalot So aku pilih pilah sebab konon its not too far, not too near
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mEssY & dOOmed

Assalamualaikum. and hi everyone! so. i had my glorious holiday for almost a year full. i got the email from KKM few days ago. i was in Perak fetching my not so lil bro. he finished his diploma, alhamdulillah. i went to perak with mak and abah. we had an overnight stay at a nicely wooden-decorated-hotel. we love to support Us. us is Us. who else would support us if we don't? ikr. hmm, not in the mood to discuss on this topic.  the nreal topic now isssssssss... the placement aplication. im so doomed! i cant decide which hospital im going yet. i hope i could run to my family when i need them but i cant be foolish to 'fikir pendek' and choose the nearest hospital for 2 years HO, and suffer pjj with my beloved family for the rest of my life... dilemma doubtful scared mess nervous angry. because i did not revise anything yet. regret it a bit..  i met a Dr when i accompanied emak for her regular hpt follow up. the doctor is a MO maybe, im not sure bu
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tHe EnEmY IS YoU, mONSter!!

Assalamualaikum. since i have nothing to do. so yeah, this is my second post with interval for only a few hours. weird me is typing aggressively here after years. i am so lucky to have my ABAH and EMAK as my parents. they are perfectly matched and complete each other. hahaha. my Emak always support me. i just realized it recently. can you see how dumb am i?! she never say no to our wish. she allow us to wish and act as we like as long as we don't cross the boundaries. she always fight for us. my father also is the same. but of course there will be tons of question and being query on our wish or plan is a must thing to do for him. hahahahhahaha. i know its for our safety and good. All his advice and reminder are always right and precise. serve me right for ignoring them. dush!! its ironic when im the one who always fail to control myself. im not a decent daughter yet for them. i know it and i regret it so much every time i realized it. maybe sometimes it just happen at the wro
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cUTikU

Hi there!  Assalamualaikum. I bet no one is reading mine actually. but for my own sake. i prefer to write here. well, its 2018 now. i always write here when i dont really think that i got other place to bebel. its a bit safer here, I guess! i tried twitter, but it doesnt work much for me. it gave me headache. ive been thinking on how to improve myself in terms of everything. yupp, everything does mean EVERYTHING! i know i am no where to be perfect. whether its duniawi or ukhrowi things. i change then i revert then i change and i fail again and again and again.. for now, im not sure which topic i would like to share here. maybe i will just type randomly what cross my mind now. i went to some places recently. ouh, yeah. i graduated last year on October. Alhamdulillah. my blood sweat and tears yang bergelen gelen tu paid off. Now, im having a very long holiday. the days that ive been waiting deadly so much for yearsss. as usual, when we are in the situation itself, its too overwh
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HaNyUt

a gift to feel the bitterness of falling and being apart from the lucky flocks. i take it as a bless. Alhamdulillah Allah for giving me lights when its dark. and give me hope when there is none. now. my horrible forgetful dumbness let me float in that small courtesy from Him. i was ungretfully silly paying back my so called 'used' time banging my head to the soft bumpy wools and immerse myself in  dreams i could never achieve... i waste times i know it i knew it but i keep on repeating those ungraceful routines. i am a  small pitiful and ungretful servant! while the others were so busy empowering their weapons, i push  myself to the corner towards darkness i could never imagine. i am being  left behind too behind that i could not reach my hand running wouldnt be enough for me i need more! half of me is dissapointed and frustrated. why there is no one knock my head or slam my shoulder or even move a finger to warn me wake me! i know i got
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meHH

if they leave,  just because they are selfish. if they come to u,  they just wanna use you. its really obvious . cant run from those people if you live in full of competitive community right? so frustrating. i know it and i hate it. why haaa? why it has to be this way? ewww
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